I can't take this anymore!
There are times when I enjoy being in my house and doing nothing for a day or two. It can be an absolute joy. And then there's the polar vortex when I am forced to stay inside the house for two days. This is our fifth day of cancelled school in the month of January. I have never wanted to be in school more.
I can't write as much about what's going on in my life these days because so much of my life revolves around 32 seniors in high school that I can't write about publicly. It's not my place to write about them and their stories without their permission, but know that they consume most of my waking hours. They are amazing and frustrating and they are a lot of work. In five months, my two years of service will be over and I will have to return again to making big decisions and transitions.
But first I need to get out of my house.
love,
hannah
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Dear Sadie Hawkins,
I had a terrifying experience at school the other day.
I had a meeting that took up most of my morning, and got to school with an hour left before the end of the day and the time when I had to start teaching. I stepped into my office to find two students waiting for me, which isn't that out of the ordinary. I sat down at my desk to eat my lunch and another student showed up to accomplish the work he could not do after school. We were sitting there, reading through his essay when the loud speaker comes on:
"Teachers, stop teaching right now. Everyone turn your TVs to channel 20 for this important announcement. Stop teaching and turn your TVs to channel 20."
It was still a half an hour until the end of the day announcements and the voice over the loud speaker was stern and scary. An announcement at this point in the day could only mean that something horrible had happened. There was a shooter in the neighborhood, an accident that would prevent students from leaving school as planned at 2 PM, our nation was under attack. This last one stuck with me. I was in school on September 11, 2001 and though there was no announcement over the loud speaker then, I could feel myself start to memorize the situation. I would remember where I was on November 14, 2013. Whatever was about to be announced was important. Did I need to call my parents? Did I need to cancel after school session? What was so important?
There is a TV in my office but it is disconnected. If we really want to see what's on the TV we step out into the hallway and view the TV in the classroom of the English teacher across the hall. Usually this works with the daily announcements as her door is usually open, however, since it was the middle of the last class of the day, her door was closed. We stepped out of our closet of an office, my student more than happy to abandon his essay, and knocked on her door so that we could see what was on TV.
On the TV there is a group of students huddled around a microphone reading a statement off a sheet of paper.
"We hear that some of you are thinking about boycotting the Sadie Hawkins dance tonight."
What? The important announcement was about the Sadie Hawkins dance? Homecoming had not gone well at our high school (dirty dancing, drinking, things that plague high school dances everywhere) and there were new rules put in place. There would be more chaperones, mandatory breathalyzing and a disciplinary system involving wristbands. These rules were a part of my high school dance experience and I was surprised it had taken this long for them to reach this particular high school.
"Please do not boycott the dance due to the new rules. Many students have put in hours of their own time to plan this event. If there is low attendance at this dance, there will not be as many events in the future."
The announcement goes on for a while but I stopped paying attention now that my heart could return to a normal pace. No need for alarm; it was not an act of terrorism but teenagers. My student and I walked back to my office as the English teacher tried to regain control of her classroom after the announcement.
So, I can't say that I will remember where I was on November 14, 2013, but I will remember the Sadie Hawkins Dance and the disregard shown by the student body.
love,
hannah
I had a meeting that took up most of my morning, and got to school with an hour left before the end of the day and the time when I had to start teaching. I stepped into my office to find two students waiting for me, which isn't that out of the ordinary. I sat down at my desk to eat my lunch and another student showed up to accomplish the work he could not do after school. We were sitting there, reading through his essay when the loud speaker comes on:
"Teachers, stop teaching right now. Everyone turn your TVs to channel 20 for this important announcement. Stop teaching and turn your TVs to channel 20."
It was still a half an hour until the end of the day announcements and the voice over the loud speaker was stern and scary. An announcement at this point in the day could only mean that something horrible had happened. There was a shooter in the neighborhood, an accident that would prevent students from leaving school as planned at 2 PM, our nation was under attack. This last one stuck with me. I was in school on September 11, 2001 and though there was no announcement over the loud speaker then, I could feel myself start to memorize the situation. I would remember where I was on November 14, 2013. Whatever was about to be announced was important. Did I need to call my parents? Did I need to cancel after school session? What was so important?
There is a TV in my office but it is disconnected. If we really want to see what's on the TV we step out into the hallway and view the TV in the classroom of the English teacher across the hall. Usually this works with the daily announcements as her door is usually open, however, since it was the middle of the last class of the day, her door was closed. We stepped out of our closet of an office, my student more than happy to abandon his essay, and knocked on her door so that we could see what was on TV.
On the TV there is a group of students huddled around a microphone reading a statement off a sheet of paper.
"We hear that some of you are thinking about boycotting the Sadie Hawkins dance tonight."
What? The important announcement was about the Sadie Hawkins dance? Homecoming had not gone well at our high school (dirty dancing, drinking, things that plague high school dances everywhere) and there were new rules put in place. There would be more chaperones, mandatory breathalyzing and a disciplinary system involving wristbands. These rules were a part of my high school dance experience and I was surprised it had taken this long for them to reach this particular high school.
"Please do not boycott the dance due to the new rules. Many students have put in hours of their own time to plan this event. If there is low attendance at this dance, there will not be as many events in the future."
The announcement goes on for a while but I stopped paying attention now that my heart could return to a normal pace. No need for alarm; it was not an act of terrorism but teenagers. My student and I walked back to my office as the English teacher tried to regain control of her classroom after the announcement.
So, I can't say that I will remember where I was on November 14, 2013, but I will remember the Sadie Hawkins Dance and the disregard shown by the student body.
love,
hannah
Monday, September 2, 2013
Dear September,
And thus, I begin the annual endeavor to listen to Earth, Wind and Fire's masterpiece "September" every day in the month of September. I didn't do well on this quest last year, but I had a new friend who
would surprise me when he remembered the song and start playing it. While yesterday's listening happened after midnight, I'm still counting it for September 1st. Yesterday's listening happened with so many of my close friends letting loose on the dance floor in someone' living room. Today I wandered around parts of Minneapolis I had never seen before. Tomorrow I will prepare to go back to school and get things done for America, among other things.
To the start of another school year without being a student...
love,
hannah
To the start of another school year without being a student...
love,
hannah
Friday, June 7, 2013
Dear dry shampoo,
Oh. My. God.
This is going to sound silly, but you're legitimately amazing. I'd heard about dry shampoo and thought that it was a good idea but it's actually something else! Dry shampoo is genius. What is this? Why did I not do this sooner? I don't know if this changes everything, but I may spend a future fortune on dry shampoo.
What a discovery.
love,
hannah
This is going to sound silly, but you're legitimately amazing. I'd heard about dry shampoo and thought that it was a good idea but it's actually something else! Dry shampoo is genius. What is this? Why did I not do this sooner? I don't know if this changes everything, but I may spend a future fortune on dry shampoo.
What a discovery.
love,
hannah
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Dear sectum sepra,
A student walked into my office today and just said "sectum sepra" like it was a hello.
Me: Why did you say that? Be careful with that... I don't want anyone bleeding on my floor because of your sectum sepra.
Student: I don't know.
You can tell we are a week away from the end of the school year. I cannot wait to be released, and at the same time HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THIS BE? Where did time go? Didn't I just arrange my desk a little while ago? It's strange because I was counting down to the end of first post grad year, but I was not keeping track of the school year. I'm almost done with one term of service and gearing up for another. Soon my students will be on their way to college and waiting to see me cry at graduation.
They really want to see me cry. Let lose another sectum sepra and I might...
love,
hannah
Me: Why did you say that? Be careful with that... I don't want anyone bleeding on my floor because of your sectum sepra.
Student: I don't know.
You can tell we are a week away from the end of the school year. I cannot wait to be released, and at the same time HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THIS BE? Where did time go? Didn't I just arrange my desk a little while ago? It's strange because I was counting down to the end of first post grad year, but I was not keeping track of the school year. I'm almost done with one term of service and gearing up for another. Soon my students will be on their way to college and waiting to see me cry at graduation.
They really want to see me cry. Let lose another sectum sepra and I might...
love,
hannah
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Dear one year,
The first thing I thought when I woke up today was, "I've got to call my mom."
The second thing I thought when I woke up today was, "It's been one year since I graduated from college." A friend remarked yesterday, "I don't know how you can remember that." It's easy, it was May 12, 2012 (the twelve thing makes it easy to remember) and I have it marked on my wrist.
Someone, probably a recent graduate themselves, told me before I graduated that this was going to basically be the worst year of my life. So I prepared for that. I approached this year as if it was going to be horrible, and worked to mitigate the horribleness. Hopefully that would make me happy, or at least less unhappy. Because of this, I thought that once the year had passed there would be a sort of magical lifting. The year would be up.
How in the world has it been a year? Nothing has happened. That's not entirely true, but it feels that way. I will say this about the year being up: I only know it is here, because I have been planning for it. Otherwise, I probably would have looked up from a book next weekend as my friends are graduating across town and think, "Wow, it's been a year since I graduated." If I hadn't been waiting for today, I wouldn't have known because there is no magical lifting. At some point during this year I stopped counting. Living outside of the countdown is a wonderful thing. But, I have found other ways to count this time. During this year I moved three times, watched three whole TV shows (one was Sports Night, so that doesn't really count), administered five practice ACT tests, traveled to Chicago eight times, and read 42 books.
The last one is probably the most important. (Especially since my goal for 2013 is to read 42 books, so this proves that it's possible.) I only had two plans leaving graduation: Don't be miserable and read a lot. In college, you read a lot, but all the fun is gone. You're reading for meaning, or to critique or to pass a class, not because you want to read. I wanted to read whatever I wanted after graduation, and that has been the best thing that I've done for myself. Some of them have been as moving and as powerful as The Ground Beneath Her Feet, one was required, many were by John Green, some were re-read, which I don't do that often. several were gifts and many were passed on. I only gave up on one (Sorry Ethan); Angle of Repose. But many family members love it, so I might give it another try when I'm not keeping watch over an incredibly hot church. During this year I have also made new friends, learned to cook better, even made my bed, but this is they way I choose to measure this year, because it wasn't horrible.
I read: The Handmaid's Tale, Sense and Sensibility, The Shadow of the Wind, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Night Circus, Spook, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, Maus 1: My Father Bleeds History, Maus 2: And Here My Troubles Began, Blueprints for Building Better Girls, A Hope in the Unseen, Ella Enchanted, The Enchantress of Florence, The Kissing List, The Angel's Game, An Abundance of Katherines, Good for the Jews, Water for Elephants, The Age of Miracles, The Metamorphosis, Lolita, Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrel, Lizz Free or Die, The Fault in Our Stars, The Book Thief, I'm Starved for You (Positron #1), Choke Collar (Positron #2), Erase Me (Positron #3), We Killed: The Rise of Women in American Comedy, Rules of Civility, Behind the Beatiful Forevers, Feasting and Fasting, Start Here: Read Your Way Into 25 Amazing Authors, Eleanor and Park, How to Be a Woman, Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns, When She Woke, Stupid Perfect World, The Space Between Us, Brave New World, and The Great Gatsby. I am currently reading The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver and working on Jews and Words (very slowly).
I have already given my advice in a previous post, so I will just say this:
To the Class of 2012, we did it! We can stop counting!
To my mother, sorry that you haven't been able to smell for a year.
love,
hannah
The second thing I thought when I woke up today was, "It's been one year since I graduated from college." A friend remarked yesterday, "I don't know how you can remember that." It's easy, it was May 12, 2012 (the twelve thing makes it easy to remember) and I have it marked on my wrist.
I had this bracelet made last summer, after a discussion about what we would get tattooed on our bodies. I don't want a tattoo, but I love this quote. It comes from Salman Rushdie's The Ground Beneath Her Feet, mentioned here before. It says "My heart broke open and history fell in." While I like to think that this quote captures something about my college years, I think that it more accurately describes what I hope I will do in the future. This bracelet sits on my wrist with other silver bracelets (recently complimented by one of the secretaries at school) and most of the time I forget about it; it has become a part of my daily uniform. But sometimes I remember this thing which I had made, and it makes me happy.
Someone, probably a recent graduate themselves, told me before I graduated that this was going to basically be the worst year of my life. So I prepared for that. I approached this year as if it was going to be horrible, and worked to mitigate the horribleness. Hopefully that would make me happy, or at least less unhappy. Because of this, I thought that once the year had passed there would be a sort of magical lifting. The year would be up.
How in the world has it been a year? Nothing has happened. That's not entirely true, but it feels that way. I will say this about the year being up: I only know it is here, because I have been planning for it. Otherwise, I probably would have looked up from a book next weekend as my friends are graduating across town and think, "Wow, it's been a year since I graduated." If I hadn't been waiting for today, I wouldn't have known because there is no magical lifting. At some point during this year I stopped counting. Living outside of the countdown is a wonderful thing. But, I have found other ways to count this time. During this year I moved three times, watched three whole TV shows (one was Sports Night, so that doesn't really count), administered five practice ACT tests, traveled to Chicago eight times, and read 42 books.
The last one is probably the most important. (Especially since my goal for 2013 is to read 42 books, so this proves that it's possible.) I only had two plans leaving graduation: Don't be miserable and read a lot. In college, you read a lot, but all the fun is gone. You're reading for meaning, or to critique or to pass a class, not because you want to read. I wanted to read whatever I wanted after graduation, and that has been the best thing that I've done for myself. Some of them have been as moving and as powerful as The Ground Beneath Her Feet, one was required, many were by John Green, some were re-read, which I don't do that often. several were gifts and many were passed on. I only gave up on one (Sorry Ethan); Angle of Repose. But many family members love it, so I might give it another try when I'm not keeping watch over an incredibly hot church. During this year I have also made new friends, learned to cook better, even made my bed, but this is they way I choose to measure this year, because it wasn't horrible.
I read: The Handmaid's Tale, Sense and Sensibility, The Shadow of the Wind, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Night Circus, Spook, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, Maus 1: My Father Bleeds History, Maus 2: And Here My Troubles Began, Blueprints for Building Better Girls, A Hope in the Unseen, Ella Enchanted, The Enchantress of Florence, The Kissing List, The Angel's Game, An Abundance of Katherines, Good for the Jews, Water for Elephants, The Age of Miracles, The Metamorphosis, Lolita, Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrel, Lizz Free or Die, The Fault in Our Stars, The Book Thief, I'm Starved for You (Positron #1), Choke Collar (Positron #2), Erase Me (Positron #3), We Killed: The Rise of Women in American Comedy, Rules of Civility, Behind the Beatiful Forevers, Feasting and Fasting, Start Here: Read Your Way Into 25 Amazing Authors, Eleanor and Park, How to Be a Woman, Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns, When She Woke, Stupid Perfect World, The Space Between Us, Brave New World, and The Great Gatsby. I am currently reading The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver and working on Jews and Words (very slowly).
I have already given my advice in a previous post, so I will just say this:
To the Class of 2012, we did it! We can stop counting!
To my mother, sorry that you haven't been able to smell for a year.
love,
hannah
Friday, May 10, 2013
Dear chartreuse,
It was once said, "Chartreuse is the color of choice." Or, rather, it was once overheard in a hot dog place. But chartreuse is busting out all over the place! It's exploding from every tree, especially along the river, which has finally stopped feeling gray.
Chartreuse, it's lovely to have you back, even when you're going to be replaced by much deeper hues soon.
love,
hannah
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