Dear Dan Rydell,

How could I have ever fallen for Casey McCall? I mean really.  Casey is not bad by means, but how did I ever overlook Dan Rydell. 

For those of you that don't know Dan Rydell is fictional.  He is one of the characters on Sports Night played by Josh Charles.  I love Sports Night.  It is the best and it is the best thing in the world for procrastinating and after eleven months of working hard it is now time for some procrastination. Between now and the end of June I have to write 35 detailed letters of recommendation for my fantastic students.  They are great, but writing a letter takes lots of thought and time.  Which means I need to find ways to procrastinate and nothing is better than Sports Night.

But seriously Dan Rydell is the best.  I don't know that I can articulate it at this moment but Dan Rydell is super dreamy.  Also neurotic.  The first few times I watched Sports Night I was all about Casey.  Maybe I've grown up. 

However, and please forgive my fangirling, this time through I'm shipping Dan/Natalie.  Something I've never done before.  Also the first time I have shipped a non-canon couple.  Maybe I haven't grown up.


love,
hannah

Dear skirt day,

Yesterday was Skirt Day in the metro Twin Cities area.  Oh, you don't know what Skirt Day is? Skirt Day is the first day in the spring when the weather allows you to wear a skirt with bare legs.  I have a history of missing Skirt Day, then attempting to make it up later inevitably picking a day that is not meant for skirts with bare legs.  However, in 2013, I knew it was coming.  I was prepared for Skirt Day.  It was beautiful.  The sun came out, there's still mounds of snow on the ground, but Minnesota changes so quickly. 

Suddenly the weather changes, everyone starts smiling and things don't seem so scary.  However, this is the first time when this change hasn't been connected with finals. 


love,
hannah

Dear eleven months,

As today comes to a close, I realized that today is April 12, exactly eleven months after graduation.  This year, which I dreaded, has almost come to end.  I've found a way to remember it, marked on my wrist in silver, but I almost forgot.

Somewhere along the way I stopped counting because it just became my life, and not my life after.

Last weekend I went to my last college party.  It was a friend's birthday and I wanted to catch up with friends, but as the party went on I realized I knew almost no one.  Or, I recognized them but now they were all grown up with friends and shmoozy party habits and not the loud freshman I remember.  I didn't want to dance, I wanted to sit and catch up in the corner.  I am old.  While I had fun, I realized I couldn't really go back anymore.

However, I learned a lot by talking to friends in the corner.  In part I learned that the communities I was a part of are still as crazy as ever, if not more so.  The more important part was speaking with friends who are coming up on their own graduation.  When I spoke with them in the fall I shared the only advice I had, "You're going to have all the feelings, all at once, all the time.  This seems to be completely normal."  But in the summer and fall I got vague responses, "yeah, I bet."  Now it is spring and the responses are completely different.  "I get it.  I can't describe it.  I can't leave.  I can't say... I don't know what to say."  In part I felt vindicated for all the feelings last year, and in part I was just their listener.

I have little advice, but here it is:
-You will have all of the feelings, all at once, all the time.
-You won't be able to properly describe it.
-You should find someone who gets it without you having to say every word.
-You should talk to them often.
-You should check in with your parents.
-You should leave the house.
-You should take deep breaths.
-You should let yourself cry.
-You should set small goals.
-You should celebrate the rediscovery of your Sunday.
-You should know that at some point you stop counting.
-You don't have to have a plan.

April really comes before May? For four years I feel like April came before finals which came before summer.  What is April into May? What will this be like?


love,
hannah