Dear New York,

The photos of the weddings that have occurred in the last two days make me tear up.  They are beautiful.  I don't know what else to say.

I just wrote a super long "Come to Mac" letter to a high school senior. 


love,
hannah

Dear Tardis Blues,

"I love the Doctor.  He's the man of my life.  One day we'll be in the Tardis.  He'll ask me to be his wife.  Not just any Doctor, but Matt Smith cause he's fine."

A student I'm working with wrote and sang this for our "write some blues" assignment.  Mine was about how my back hurts from sleeping in the basement on a crappy couch two nights ago.  Really, I'm still in a lot of pain. 

Embarking on my last weekend trip in July tomorrow, completing my four state tour.  I'm headed to Missouri for a family reunion... and some frantic lesson planning.


love,
hannah

Dear Friends bloopers,

You always make me happy.  It's hot.  We installed the air conditioner. 

It's so hot I don't want to move or eat. 


love,
hannah

Dear July Hair,

You're not pretty.  Generally, I don't think that much about my hair, but apparently I must this July.  And my face is a little gross.  And a combo bad face/bad hair/super sweaty July isn't fun. 

And I never look cute any more.  It would do to remind myself that some people would kill for a job where the uniform is sweatpants.  Just maybe not in July...


love,
hannah

Dear fake Southern accents,

Apparently you are the only thing that makes the heat tolerable.  Something about being Blanche DuBois without a narrative purpose calms my heat-fried nerves. 

And then there's swimming.


love,
hannah

Dear catharsis,

Since my internship includes reading theory about critical pedagogy and theater as a tool for social change, our work started with reading about the power of empathy.  In Augusto Boal's discussion of empathy he debates how empathy is a powerful way to connect oneself to others while catharsis (the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions) often releases an audience from their connection to the characters, and sometimes the other audience members.  He says that catharsis is dangerous because the connection created through empathy is so strong, but the cathartic release at the end of being a spectator destroys that connection, leaving the spectator with the feeling that they are no longer bound by their empathy.  The audience leaves feeling that the story is completely finished and that they are no longer compelled to take action.  Clearly, not the action desired when one tries to use art as a tool for change.

I have struggled with Boal's critique of empathy and catharsis in the last two weeks.  As a storyteller I want to create strong empathic connections and release those emotions through my story, but as an activist I understand that this doesn't lead audiences to a desire to take action.  Understanding the balance between those two things in my own work/life has been puzzling.

Today as I left Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part Two, I tried to explain to my friends that I couldn't quite feel anything.  I couldn't understand what was happening to me.  All I could understand as I walked out of the theater was that it was the most complete experience of catharsis I had ever felt.  After fourteen years of emotional exposition, I sat, sobbing in the theater for a half an hour.  I could hear fellow audience members sniffling and taking in deep breaths.  When the credits began to roll I felt so drained, so empty I wasn't sure what to do.  It felt so final.  Perhaps it was not totally a cathartic experience because I will carry some shred of it forever, but still... I was not yet ready to process the world around me.

I wondered what Boal would have to say about that.

Also, I thought the "Not my daughter, you bitch" was surprisingly understated in the movie. 


love,
hannah

Dear Hermione Granger(s),

First off, to update you on the last ten days of my life: the Minnesota government shutdown should end soon, I am not yet friends with 7 am, and I am very tired. 

On July 22, 2007 I posted this on Facebook:

There are no more answers

And so, it ends. I was not devastated, I did cry, I am content. Harry Potter was, I think, just what I wanted it to be. Thankfully, my childhood is not decisively over, and I can still appreciate the last ten years. 

 Today, I write this as friends wait in line for the final film's premiere at midnight.  I am at home, getting ready for bed because I must be up again at 7 am tomorrow to get to work, because now  my childhood (pretty much) decisively over.  (I just paid my first energy bill, yeehaw!)  Although I want to be there to experience the premiere in all its glory, I have to be awake and alert at work tomorrow, providing an example for the 13-18 years olds I work with, some of whom will have gone to the premiere tonight.  

There have been many articles posted on Facebook about the premiere, one with the headline "Final Harry Potter film is a rite of passage for fans" while another questioned the potential legacy of the series.  Those who doubt the legacy and longevity of the series must be kidding themselves.  They have never been present for the conversations in which my friends and I have discussed how we are going to introduce the Harry Potter series to our own children, how we will try to recreate the phenomenal experience of aging at the same pace as Harry.  There have even been discussions of book groups where the parents will agree to introduce each book to their children at the same pace, but this plan doesn't account for the stupid kid in sixth grade who will spoil major deaths or some other critical detail.  None of our plans can recreate the experience we have had, to age with Harry Potter is a one time deal, only guaranteed to those around my age (born in the years surrounding 1990).  Of course Pottermore is an interesting experiment in the virtual possibilities of the books, but fan fiction surely has taken us down many paths. 

Indeed, our connection to Harry Potter is a singular experience of my generation.  As our experience comes to an end I am devastated, I will cry, I am content.  It is hard to still be connected with my childhood while I am counting down the days until my twenty-first birthday.  My Potter fervor and nostalgia is often accompanied by the release of a new book, film, and maybe a website, but there is one thing that never fades: My eternal gratefulness for Hermione Granger.  

Hermione Granger is the best thing to happen to nerdy girls across the globe.  Almost every one of my friends (past and present, male and female) identifies with Hermione.  Hermione Granger made it okay to be a nerd.  (I want to say that Hermione made it great to be a nerd, but there are always those who don't like nerds - and girls.)  She was a role model, but more importantly she was a promise.  While most other nerdy girls in young adult fiction longed to be a part of the popular crowd and changed themselves to get there (of course learning from their mistakes later), Hermione was our guiding light.  Hermione was a promise that nerdy girls could handle the mockery thrown at them, that they would one day find a way to style their hair successfully and that they would have friends and find love.  She showed us that being smart wasn't a bad thing, but more importantly, she taught us the value of our own knowledge and intelligence outside of the classroom as well as in it. Rowling presented us with a fantasy of a nerdy girl, and as we aspired to be Hermione, being a nerdy girl was made that much easier. 

Today I watched Rowling's 2008 Harvard Commencement Address, which brought me to tears.  I thought about my next commencement address coming up on May 12, 2012, I thought about how this address better be better than the last one, and how it will mark the nerdy period of my life.  I don't imagine that my leaving school will suddenly erase the nerd markers that can be read all over me, but there is something terribly final about it.  The chapters of my life that involved Harry Potter are inextricably linked with school and I don't know how I would have survived them without Hermione.  My childhood will be decisively over and I don't know what comes next.  I know what happens next for Hermione, but let's be real, no one likes the epilogue anyway.  I will always appreciate the last thirteen years and Hermione's guidance on navigating the world as a nerdy girl. 

I don't know what comes next.  There are no more answers. 

love,

hannah

Dear 7 am,

You and I are going to have to get acquainted. We're gonna get close. Maybe even be friends. We're gonna so this every day and then it won't be hard anymore.


love,
hannah