Dear albino squirrel,

On my college campus there lived an albino squirrel. It was kind of famous, the kind of thing you would announce once you arrived in class. I never once saw it. I felt a little left out, or like I was always looking in the opposite direction of the squirrel.

Well, I will have you know that in the last week alone I have had three albino squirrel sightings. None of them have been on my college campus and I have no way of knowing whether or not it is the same squirrel, but I have now seen it.

I don't know, it's nice to know that it's real and not some shares elaborate lie to trick people into endlessly looking through the tree branches.


love,
hannah

Dear living young,

This is gonna be scattered, but go with me.  This is what it feels like.

Can I request a mash-up? Because One Direction's "Live While We're Young" and Ke$ha's "Die Young" are just calling for a mash-up.  NOTE: I should search before I say these things, these mash-ups already exist. They're both just so catchy.  I'm doomed to listen to them on repeat tomorrow on the bus.

Today, I think I met my personal best for Facebook action.  I believe that in the span of 24 hours I accrued over 60 likes on just four different posts.  That's what we call building my internet presence.  And knowing my audience. 

I received pity cookies from a student.  At least, I think that's what we can call them.  Yesterday I said that if I got $10,000 I would spend some of it on furniture my house is seriously lacking.  We don't even have a couch to lie down on, so it's been on my mind.  Today I got cookies with a post it note, "Cause you're poor and need furniture.  Here's some cookies."  Earlier today I Skyped with a friend while making cookies for my students tomorrow.  It's all going to work out, I've just got to keep multitasking.

And, finally, a few weeks ago I ran into a professor of mine unexpectedly.  She's one of my most important teachers and I'm only just now realizing that I hadn't seen her since before graduation.  I wrote her an email later, and in her response: "wonderful to see you, too, you look so well and even, dare I say, *happy* -- ?!  Hooray!"  And I've got to say, that's exactly what it feels like.  Dare I say that I feel this happy? After all of the concern and anxiety and plans, I feel this happy? I'm not going to say it's unfair, but it's more than I expected for October.  It has been rough, and there have been tears, meals that went straight to the trash can, and more than a few surprising bills, but I finally feel happy and settled in a way that I didn't anticipate.  I do attribute some of this feeling to the structure that working in a school imposes; that and designated reading time on the bus.  I suppose I thought that this sense of calm couldn't come for a good year or so, but I'm glad to say that it's here now. 

There's just not enough time in the day to everything I want to do.  But, as I'm reading Age of Miracles, the idea of a day is much more confusing and potentially terrifying.

I'll stick with the days that I have and try to get to bed before midnight.  Living young isn't what I expected and for right now, dare I say, I am content to roll with it.


love,
hannah

Dear proctoring the ACT,

Excuse me this comparison, but proctoring the ACT is like being the Doctor and being forced to experience time in a linear fashion. When you're taking the ACT of course it is long, but that time is filled. When all you can do is sit and watch people take the test it becomes dead boring and the time just drags on and on. And I'm even allowed reading material! (Which traditional proctors are not allowed.) We are exactly ten minutes into the math section, and there is no end in sight. I will get to do this once a month for the rest of the year.


love,
hannah

Dear 22 books,

As you may or may not know, I am a huge Goodreads fan.  When I explain the site to people I sometimes get the response "Why in the world would you want to do that online?" I don't know! But it makes me so happy.  I can maintain a list of all the books I want to read and keep track of what I've already read.  Last night I introduced two of my new roommates to the site and they are already hooked.  I am very pleased. 

One of the functions of the site was to create a goal for reading in 2012.  How many books did I want to read? I said 22, then balked and went down to 20, then when I got on a reading roll I moved it back up to 22.  Well, today, I finished book 22! (Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen)

On to book 23! (White Teeth by Zadie Smith.  I think.  I haven't started yet.)


love,
hannah

Dear lazy Sunday,

For years Lazy Sunday felt like a tease.  Lazy? No.  Sundays are stressful.  Sundays are waking up after the most amazing dream only to find out that it wasn't real.  Sundays are for homework and remembering everything that you have yet to do.  Sundays are procrastination and a cry for productivity. 

But, honest to God, I have lazy Sundays now.  I know that Monday is coming and I must return to work and lists of students and bell schedules, but Sunday suddenly has no pressure.  (That's not totally true since I end up typing up lesson plans on Sunday afternoons, but since I've stewed about them for an entire week that has more to do with putting pen to paper.)  I sleep in late, which is now a lazy 9:30, and wander upstairs for a decadent breakfast not eaten in ten minutes.  Sunday isn't so dreadful when you're not a student. 


love,
hannah

Dear river,

My check in question for my students the last two days has been "what is your favorite thing about fall?" Fall is, without a doubt, my favorite season so the question really just allowed me to get excited about everything they said. There were the usual answers, the colors, Halloween, wearing scarves... And then one student said "I like the Mississippi, when you cross it an you can see colors on all sides" and though I had agreed with every answer before that, that answer was my favorite. I have an hour commute to work and one of the ways that I make it bearable for myself is the moment I take everyday when the bus crosses the river. I pause whatever I'm doing and I take a look over both sides of the bridge. The Twin Cities aren't as beautiful as Chicago is to me, but that moment makes it a real competition. There's something amazing about crossing such an important body of water twice a day.

My mother suspects that I might be a river person, that I'm drawn to water. Approaching graduation a friend said that we were drawn to rivers at this time because they just continue to travel, as they have forever, without putting too much effort into thinking of where they are going. We aspired to be rivers.


love,
hannah

Dear Mean Girls,

You have taken over.  It is a blessing and a curse.  I want to apologize/congratulate everyone who dealt/celebrated with me as I wrote that stupid paper last fall.  I leave you with this thought:

Happy Mean Girls Day.  Or, everyday last fall.


love,
hannah