Dear Lizzie Bennet Diaries,

I love TV, but I'm finding that web series offer more bang for your buck as it were.  Shorter episodes but more often and more fun.  The one that really got me going this year was The Lizzie Bennet Diaries.  I have shared it with others, but not that many have caught on.  So let me just take this opportunity on the 200th anniversary of the publication of Pride and Prejudice to share, the most recent episode was fantastic and the series as a whole is worth the several hours it will take to watch them all. 

Also, The Lizzie Bennet Diaries lead me to the Vlogbrothers which has distinctly colored my post-grad life.  The show also lead me back to reading and devouring books this summer.  The 1995 mini series definitely accompanied at least one packing job this summer.  Pride and Prejudice has played a recurring role in the last several months.  What a thing. 

Sometimes I think about that scene in You've Got Mail when she mentions that every time she reads Pride and Prejudice she isn't sure if Lizzie and Darcy will end up together or not.  And I remember thinking, but of course they get together! That's the book.  But as I come across the story again and again I too feel unsure of whether or not they will end up together.  But they do, every time.  And I don't believe it, but I find myself rooting for them and believing their relationship again and again.

Thanks Jane Austen.


love,
hannah

Dear ten minutes remaining,

This morning I left my house at 6:45 when there was no light in the sky, and watched the sun come up over St Paul from a classroom window.  Another practice ACT.  As boring as the test is, it is so much more boring to proctor it.  I even got a little work done this time, but it still was nothing.  I spent a lot of the morning texting people; students or other people who I knew were awake at this hour.  Having even just two students not show up is so disappointing. And frustrating.  But, it is only two students.  I'm so proud and amazed that these students get up on Saturday mornings to come take tests that they hate even though they don't have to.  They are the only things that keep them coming back. 

Ten minutes left.  Then they'll be done, and we'll clean up and I can go on with my day.  But really, these tests aren't as bad as I make them out to be.  In fact, once we get inside the school they're kinda fun.  I do like the part where I get to run down the school hallways with no one watching.  Although the school toilets flush automatically every twenty minutes or so and the clocks make a horrible noise on the hour. 

Maybe what's so interesting about this time is that it's all inner monologue.  When you're not taking the test there's nothing to occupy you or to challenge you so when you proctor you are left alone with four hours of silence.  What can you make of that time?

I have proven that I cannot do anything useful during this time.  At least I didn't nod off this time, because that also happens. 

This is post #300. 


love,
hannah

Dear tomato and arugula week,

I just bought more arugula and tomatoes at the grocery store than I needed to make this recipe.  So, clearly I'm going to have to find a way to infuse my diet this week with tomatoes and arugula.

It's not a New Year's Resolution per say, but I'm trying to find ways to eat better.  Partially because I just don't eat enough as it is.  So I should start picking out recipes on Sundays, going shopping and making something.  Cause I should eat something, dammit.  Today: a tomato, arugula and goat cheese frittata.  It smells really good, and I'm making it in the cast iron skillet gifted to me by my Granny- whose birthday is today! It feels very appropriate. 

After a kind of hectic week, it was good to settle into a low key weekend.


love,
hannah

Dear flu shots,

Are you an adult when you turn to your friends and say "Who wants to go get a flu shot with me tomorrow?" and you're not the one covering their face and running away? Is that what it means to be an adult? Is looking at your students and knowing that they will get you sick and willing to undergo needles a sign of maturity? I don't know what to say.  It surely wasn't easy. 

In other news I saw a student bus driver today.  I wondered why I had never seen one before and if bus drivers' education teachers are as horrible as the regular variety. 


love,
hannah

Dear January in Minnesota,

Yesterday, as I was riding back from the airport, I realized that I've never spent January in Minnesota.  I don't think that I've ever returned to Minnesota before the 25th, so I have no idea what a Minnesota January has in store for me.  My first though was, damn, it is going to be so cold.  Probably so much colder than I realize; I've never experienced it before. 

That may be true, but as I've settled into the idea of a Minnesotan January I've come to think that it has a lot of potential.  With the exception of one, I have spent the last several Januarys in bed.  (Watching excellent TV, so, time well spent.)  But today as I looked around my house, I had the energy to take care of all sorts of little things that I know I won't do as the year moves on.  There are some clean surfaces so that we can clutter them up as the year goes on.  I'm not ready to return to work and real life tomorrow, so instead I prepared everything else. 

I don't know what this January has in store for me.  The return of snobby TV for sure (Downton Abbey and Girls).  The promise of snow.  The promise of late buses.  The celebration of a new friend's birthday.  The next phase of work.  The search for summer enrichment.  The test of a no-chip manicure.  The onset of Valentine's Day.  The ever increasing distance of January.  The continued march of questions.

I do not know.  I do not know what awaits me in January in Minnesota.


love,
hannah

Dear Gossip Girl Finale,

Deus ex machina.


love,
hannah

Dear six months after graduation,

I began this post a while ago with the intention of posting it on the date exactly six months after graduation, but as the day drew closer I felt pretty and didn't feel like it was worth reflecting on the last six months. But, I'm feeling a little better now and I am determined to find the things that have developed in the last six months, good an bad, to tak stock of what has felt like much of the same that I didn't know before. Does that make sense? Nothing is really all tr surprising, or necessarily stands out, but that doesn't mean that there's not things to mark.

It has been six months since graduation. What have I done with those six months of being a "real adult"? Let's see

I listened to a lot of The Head and the Heart. Mostly "Rivers and Roads. Sometimes accompanied by tears.

I have moved twice.

I significantly improved my dental hygiene. I am now a regular flosser.

I found a way to arrange all the same artwork (read: magazine cut outs and postcards) that has decorated my walls for the last few years that feels a little more mature.

I have memorized hundreds of students' names.

I've gotten more comfortable speaking on the phone with people I don't know.

I've had a couple Oscar worthy crying moments.

I have kept in touch with friends.

I have not kept in touch with friends.

I've had a couple of surprising bills.

I have not spent enough time outside.

I have read a ton.

I've lost some of my collegiate vocabulary. My sentences aren't constructed quite as well as they used to be.

I discovered I don't like meetings.

I like dressing up for work.

I've developed the necessary "bitch face" for riding the bus.

I've had some unhealthy eating habits.

I've celebrated the full moon.

I've set more goals that I probably have, ever.

I speak in a probably annoying manner to college seniors to the inevitable mess they will soon become.

I've thought a lot about the place of place in my life.

I was offered a legit kitten.

I turned down the kitten.

I've learned to maintain a fairly regular sleep cycle.

I've journaled, both purposely and half-heartedly.

I've not really considered online dating.

I hope to transition away from bed centered lounging, reminiscent of dorm life, and into couch centered lounging.

I haven't seen a lot of movies.

I believe that the decisions I made have been the right decisions for me.

I don't like short stories. They are an excuse to pack as much melancholy into as little pages as possible. And no, some English major at work is not going to convince me otherwise.

I watched Girls. That was a confusing experience.

I've begun to see people around me get engaged.

I've introduced Gossip Girl into the lives of several room mates.

I've felt really lucky.

I've felt really lonely.

I biked, but I don't really feel like a biker.

I've broken or lost some of my favorite pieces of jewelry.

I used some excellent pens and was gifted a Wishbone pencil.

I looked good.

I talked shit about people.

I saw some great theatre for very little money.

I haven't missed being a part of theatre as much as I thought I would.

I've found myself as the only Jew in more and more situations.

I've heard the echoes of my mother's voice in my own.

I had contemplated the value and meaning and complications of service.

I've been awkward.

I've brought people together.

I went out for beer.

I went inside a Summit avenue house.

I've wondered about how you make friends outside of the context of school.

I've gone back and forth about the value of cars many many times.

I've made people laugh.

I am now a reference for people.

I've delved into more and more Jane Austen.

I'm doing alright.

I've, unsurprisingly, watched a lot of tv.

I'm trying to not use the fact that I know this year will probably suck as an excuse to let it suck. But I know that things are going to get better, that some of these things are just a matter of time. Things will settle and sort themselves out and we must ride out the transitional time. I know this year is hard. So, here's hoping the next six months lead you in that direction.

love,
hannah