Dear Jellyfish,

A friend who has come to visit the Twin Cities periodically throughout the fall always asks me two questions when we see each other: Are you happy? Do you feel loved? (The first time she asked this question she asked "Do you feel like the world is cradling your heart in between its palms?" I wasn't sure if that was true, but I did feel loved.) These are two simple but sometimes difficult questions to answer and the answers aren't always what you expect.  Well, my answer to one of them has not changed.  I have felt loved this entire season and school year.

Last night I felt loved.  After months of writing and thinking and brainstorming and walking around the space and rehearsing we finally premiered the Jellyfish Project.  The show is about stereotypes of women that appear in film and trying to find some reality in them, a morsel of truth.  In so many ways the Jellyfish Project is an extension of my work in Feminisms in Progress, but very different.  I was so pleased with what we had come up with and as we got closer to show time I became nervous that what I thought was beautiful and insightful would appear confusing and garbled to those watching.  (Don't worry, that wasn't the case.)  The show went off without a hitch and from what I heard from friends every nuance and every little idea we had tried to pack into the show was understood in some way or another.  I have so much love for the women I worked with to create this show and who jumped into this project trusting that I would lead them even when I had no plan at all. 

Even more than my ensemble, I felt so much love for my posse.  Those who love and care about me were there, right up front (I picked out the best seats for them, of course).  In the end I was left with such a feeling of joy because these people were there to support me, no matter what I was working on they would have been there.  My posse was there to support me in my work out of love, and they were just so happy to do it.  My heart was cradled in between their palms. 

What an incredible posse I have, what an incredible group of people I have to guide me and support me and share our lives.  And, always with a strange understanding that this posse will dissolve, it wasn't meant to last and before long we will scatter across the globe and rely only on Facebook.  I suppose that's a grim way of looking at it, but... but it feels strangely true. 

This is just to say that my heart is cradled in between their palms.


love,
hannah